A Rude Letter

Dear Yahoo! Corp,

The past couple of weeks have been tough, I have to say. Who would’ve thought that things would’ve turned out like this? With you going downhill, I offer to drive a stake down and bring you back up to the top – and what do you do? You go and spurn my advances of $44.6 billion – something that doesn’t happen to me very often. And I don’t like it.

Sure, you could’ve left the meeting with the gigantic Google or the ever-so-handsome Apple, but ya didn’t. I can’t figure you out – you turn all three of us down, and now you claim to be strong enough to return even though you’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember. But I won’t stand for it – if they’re not going to have you, I’m going to take you whether you like it or not.

So now I’m going to have to seize you by my own force and use your shareholders to get to you – and you can’t do jack but watch. Know this – we really could’ve had something special and gotten along, but you had to do things the hard way. I wish you well, and hope you don’t feel too threatened by this – even though you have every right to. I’m not violating you, just liberating you from the clutches of failure.

Your buddy,

Microsoft

P.S. I’m still giving you a chance to accept my proposal, but not for long. Have fun!

Author’s Comment: Thanks to Darren Rowse over at ProBlogger for introducing this concept to me.